Poetry

First

Silence
In the silence I hear
Your voice is so clear
And I know you expect the unexpected
From me

Even as a young child
I would keep myself hidden
Worried about opinions
It soon became a habit
And I was static

The words came slowly
Form two as an outlet
Rap battles for nothing
First chick in it
Stunting

Didn’t last
Its not a wonder
It wasn’t under your cover
Back then I was a lover of the world
But you loved me

As the spark
Progressed
Into a flame
It was church dramas, youth camps and conferences
These made me more comfortable in front of an audience

But I found myself seeking my own fame

Taking inspiration from artists
Wanting to make my own record
Not hating on aspirations I get it
Feeling myself so highly
Yet you where yet to make a dent

Performing for my glory
So all the people know me
But its not the end of the story

I’m just starting a new chapter
Not holding onto the wheel
And after all the laughter
And Pastors
Is it for real
Because my heart tells me to serve
And my mind is asking where

Am I special enough to have my own sector

But that’s just it then
The ego trip I wanna avoid
This rap thing
And all it connotes makes me annoyed
Can I be a Christian
Truly
And still rap well
Can I be the exception, that girl who never fell
Only God can tell

So I write this down
As I keep writing
I refuse to form a part of the masses
That fall for the “me, me” scam

Its not me
Its not me
I am just the horn that He blows
I am just the painting He shows
I am the pen he uses to write words in my soul
And with out God I am nothing
Not stunting
Not anything
Because I am a clay vessel
And He is the precious liquid within me
He is the Potter that made me
Molded me not to the thing of this world
But in His image
For His pleasure
I am out of control
But God has got me<code

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3 thoughts on “First

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