All things new

​A first draft...

I have never been more sure

Sure of what i want, who i want in my life
Sure of myself
I know who i am

I could tell you story after story about how dark it was. The intensity of a black so deep i was blind. I was mute, even when i would speak. I was the definition of lost. And God brought me out. Thats what id prefer to talk about.

You see there is this emence peace you have when you realize that God has your back. He literally pulled me about of a pit of darkness so black that i couldnt recognize myself. I lost memories ,he showed mercy. The God who knows all drew me out of my mind’s deep waters and showed me a mirror.

And in that mirror i saw him. And through his eyes i saw myself. And i was happy. I was accomplished. I was at peace.

So i took a step, reached out my hand and he held it. Forever the shade upon my right hand. He lead me through the valley. He removed the scales form my eyes and i could see that there were people around me who cared. They took my left hand.
We walked together.
Now i am everything i saw in that mirror.

Be still and know that He is God. He will be exhalted in the heavens and the earth. And only he can make all things new.



What i will do.

​I want to dig 

Dig deep into your mind
Drown in your thoughts and never come up for air
I want to feel
Feel your arms around me as a consistent, constant, unrelenting remind that i am yours

I want to see you smile
Not so i can evaluate your dental formula
But so i can see your eyes shimmer
As your lips part and a song begins from your chin
As your face turns from mourning to dance
From sadness to love
From apathy to love
From confusion to love

Because i heard you say the words what feels like an eternity ago
I felt it was true, what must have been a lifetime ago
But now
Your silence confirms what i feared from the start.
No, you are not like the other guys
You are so much worse.

You made me fall in love with you in a matter of days
I pictured our loves together in a matter of months
And you stopped talking to me.
So in the end, after all that, it doesnt matter.

I am at peace, because i know we will work out. Its just a question of when. So here i am writting another poem that you will never see. Saying what i always say at the end of it.

I love you and i will never stop. Ill wait.