Poetry

After all that

I felt more than i wanted to feel yesterday. And i am still processing. This is how i do it.
I dont understand why it is wrong
For me to feel what i feel
Why pain is something to get over
Not something to experience

Why me experiencing it
Makes you mad
Makes you uncomfortable
I love you
But i love myself to

And i will do whats right for me
Even when you dont understand
Im used to confusion
My own and that of others

So dont feel sorry for me
I hate that
Dont ask me whats wrong
I wont tell you

And maybe you are right
(You often are, eventually)
Maybe you wont be there when i am ready to talk.

But i know i will be okay.
But not until i am ready to be.
*mutheu*

I want this to be true. Its just that id rather feel what i feel than work to try and get rid of it.

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