Maybe I don’t like you in the way that you think I do. Maybe I just want to be calm… Like you.
Your level of zen makes me question myself.
What I want
Who I am
I hadn’t met you before now
But that quiet in your eyes
That stillness on your lips
The way you craft silence out of words
The way you attract my attention
Your lips, still but speaking to me
The flutter of your eyelashes calling me
I am not into you in the way you think.
You aren’t my muse… But damn I wish you were.
I am not asexual.
I am not sexually attracted to you.
But damn I wish I was. That would explain everything.
This heart ache would make more sense.
This love in my heart would make sense.
These dreams where I hold you close… Make sense.
I don’t love you.
I want to be you.
Does that make sense?
MUTHEU wa Mbula