Morning musings 1

I have noticed that when the sun sets I’m in a pretty bad mood. It’s like all the pain comes flooding in again, emotional and physical, and I find it hard to be happy for other people.

But what I have found to be the greatest foundation for a metaphor is that if you give your emotions time to fade, or jisort (sort themselves out) , if you give it a couple of hours or days or weeks, you will find yourself waking up in the morning feeling and being better.

You will be glad that you gave it time.

The metaphor that is the reality of the sun setting on your sadness, and rising on the promise of new joy is beautiful.

It’s wisdom. And I Thank God for it.

Whatever you believe in, even if it’s noting, (no judgment here) I hope that you gain wisdom from it, and that it brings you renewed joy and far reaching peace every morning.

Happy end of March babies.

I love you.
Thank you for being one of the reasons I stay sane and focused on my journey. Thank you for reading. Thank you for feeling with me.


Xxx

Ivy

Happy Poetry Day part 7: Angie Ngugi.

*sighs*

We’ve made it to the last day of this celebration. And I have to say that this did me so much more good than I thought it would. So thank you for tagging along. Now for the finale! Today’s featured artist is Angie Ngugi!

“My name is Angie Ngugi, a poet, writer, feminist and medic who is passionate about telling stories and personal experiences through poetry.”

It’s not that you weren’t perfect, you were.
It wasn’t the fact that you weren’t enough, you over flowed.
You made me feel loved.
You were gentle.
I saw you today.
I was a bit surprised to see you since last I heard you had moved to another part of town.
Yet here you were,
Right in front of me.

It had been two years since I last saw you, so a lot was going through my mind.
You had changed, a little.
You had a new spring in your step, you looked happy.

I was having a bad day so you were the last person I needed to see.
I couldn’t faceyou, especially after how we ended things.
My first instinct was to run and hug you.
Muscle memory, I guess
I wanted to ask you if life had been kind to you.
Whether you finally accomplished all your dreams,
Dreams that used to be ours
But it wasn’t my place, anymore.

I watched you walk away from me, again
I wish I hadn’t let you go but all I would have said was
“It’s not that you weren’t perfect, you were.
It wasn’t the fact that you weren’t enough, you over flowed.
You made me feel loved
You were gentle.”

And it just isn’t fair to drop that on someone Especially after two years, the AUDACITY.
So I let you go,
Like I did, two years ago.

Thank you all. For helping me grow in hope. I needed this.

Xxx

Mutheu wa Sumbi

Happ Poetry Day part 6: Hopeshi.

Hey again. So we’ve made it to day six. Day, idk for your journey in self isolation. I hope you’ve spoken to someone that loves you, deeply. (virtual hug). Now I present today’s feature… Hopeshi.

Hi. I’m Hope also known as Miss Hopeshi, a lover of life and a creative. I love creating content in form of videos on YouTube and writing on my blog. Find me on YouTube and Instagram @misshopeshi. My website is hopeshi.com

While growing up, I kept complaining to my mum that people(in public) always look at me so so so so so much. Have I emphasized enough? She told me that I’d get used to it. Well, I’m 23 now and they’re still staring, Mom!

Most of my friends who I walk with in town/ public places, normally complain that guys are staring. haha, sorry I don’t know why they do it. I just politely reply “that ukitembea na Mimi itabidi uzoee”

A couple of times I’ve been to dates (like twice, I don’t go to dates often, story for another day) where the guys have pointed out that the ladies serving us “wameniangalia vibaya”
I don’t know whether they tell me this to promote female rivalry or what because personally when I’m alone, I barely notice such things until it’s pointed out to me.

These kind of scenarios got me wondering, how am I going to live going forward?

For instance, the other day (to be specific Saturday) I was in the supermarket with my sister and gosh, have you ever thought you’re trending somewhere and you don’t know? Or your printed picture lays somewhere plastered on a tree written “WANTED”, Or a picture written “thief” is on the supermarket notice board showing a nervous you stealing from the supermarket’s shelves. Or worst case scenario, your face is somewhere plastered on a tree (several trees) printed, “MAPENZI,NGUVU ZA KIUME, PESA! CALL THIS NUMBER 0712345678”
how the poster would look like

Back to the storytime. I was busy window shopping for the TV I’d want in future (a girl can only dream) when these two guys (millennials, men, maybe early 20s) stared at me suspiciously. You know, that kind of stare just before someone says hi. That one. I had to walk in between them to make them stop staring. They never did say hi even though I could see it in their eyes…

It felt like an episode of an Indian movie where me as a character would turn and bang their 2 heads together and they would fall! I would then stand on them victoriously and proclaim, “Staring is rude guys!!”
They’d learn their lesson and never stare. Again.

I digress.

So, at this point I know you might be wondering whether I’m the one asking for the attention, maybe by “my dressing” or sth. But lemme be honest, when I’m dressed to kill, I am normally comfortable with the stares because, you know, I’d stare at myself too??
But when all I’m wearing is some baggy jeans, a hoodie and no make-up, plus I had my ugly glasses, like bro? 😭 nothing about me would/should pass interest.

I really wished the two gentlemen did say hi or sth because this would have definitely mitigated the awkwardness. They dead-ass triggered my anxiety!



Point of this long story is, SAY HI GUYS whenever we meet in these streets. I don’t bite!

Isn’t it happy for today’s post, HAPPY NEW MONTH ☺️.

If you suffer from anxiety, the link below might be of help. You are welcome!
https://youtu.be/kKR_zc37RQI

Stay lovely.

Xxx

Mutheu wa Sumbi