More bitter, more sweet: You(2)



Honestly i have tried
But some people
Some people plant seeds when you let them under your skin
The winds whisper as their vines grow into you
Grow and grow
They make themselves comfortable in your most fond memories
Until they are more than a memory

Because i dont remember your voice
But i remember that you called every day for a month straight
That you liked the way i sang to you that morning
And that you owe me a song
You and your piano

I remember the quality, quantity
The certainty of your love
I remember that you cut me off twice
And i did the same to you
I remember cussing you out
But never on the phone
Never to your face

I remember that you said you missed me.
That you needed to hear my voice.
I got a missed call
I called once
Texted once
No reply
I dont know if it was you
I hope its you
And im scared that it isnt

Now i know what hopeless love is.
Stupid love.

I know you are not worth my effort.
Cause you know how i feel
And i know how you feel.
But it still doesnt matter…


Ps. For a continuation…start from the beginning.




​I write most frequently when i am in love

In like
In lust
When im “in something”
Its when i am emotional thats when words pour out of me

I write when i must
On command
On demand
Then it drips from me
Like a leaking tap
Requires concentration
Requires focus
Requires silence

Otherwise i am silent
I dont want to force its

But i have been thinking i need to be more consistant
That inconsistancy is a sign of instability
I want to be stable
That stabilty is a product of reactions
Am i chemically unstable?
My reaction?

But i need to stop focusing on the time i have ahead of me
And try emptying myself into the time
Making use of my minutes
Instead of counting my seconds
So i will

Starting now.