Reliant

When I feel like I can’t sing anymore
Words trapped  in my throat
Songs lost in my mind
I rely on you
It’s just us two

When my voice no longer says things I want it to
When breathing is a chore
Living is a bore
And hurting is all I know how to do
I rely on you

When no one can give me a reason
To keep fighting
To keep living
I take a deep breath
Breathe in
And I find
On you I can rely

I have known for a while
That every body hides
And even though no one says it
It’s okay not to be okay
For a while
I don’t need anyone to save the day this time
I have you.
I’ll be fine

Advertisements

Enough

I fell apart after you left today
Why?
I don’t know
Is it because I will miss you
As if you haven’t left and I haven’t missed you before?
Is it because I am falling so deeply into who you are and I am scared
That no amount of time and space will ever be enough for me to love you

I am left fragile
Tears streaming down my face
My heart preparing to be broken
Preparing for a funeral
Who is dying?
I don’t know

I worry that all the words we say
The time we spend
The way you make me smile by just breathing
That it won’t be enough
To hold this together

I worry that moments of passion are just that
That you will leave me
That I will leave you
And future plans
Future trips
Will die as thoughts

Maybe that’s what the funeral is for

I love you
Is that enough?

Transcendence

Hi everyone. Its been a while since i posted. Just thought id share this work in progress. Let me know what you think.

 

 

I feel like i am stuck
So stuck in the rhelm of the physical
All i ever thing about are bodies
Hands on hands
Lips on cheeks
My eyes longing to see beyond the surface, but they never do

Ever since i went through that dark place
Ive been afraid to feel
Afraid to take even the smallest leap of faith
As if knowing disappointment is waiting to swallow me whole on the other side

I dont think ive ever wanted to feel more than i do now
But emotions run away from me
Just as i ran away from them
Must be pay back
The only thing im left with is bodies
Dancing in the dark corners of my mind
In the background of every dream i have
Always there

How do i transcend the physical?
How do i let myself feel again?
How do i move beyond the fear that you wont be here to pick up the pieces
When you leave?
Cause they all leave
So will you
But i think i want you to stay
And im wondering what will do the trick
What will make me feel again?
If i love you cant do it.

Number 3

​This is what it feels like

Tears are in my eyes
You love her so much
I dont know her
It hasnt even reached a point of envy for her

I got to know you
And in you i found
Complex
Compound
Intelligence so stimulating
I became sapiosexual
Craving conversations with you
Lusting for one more text
One more word

Its absurd
How i convinced myself that
Smoke was just smoke
I realized i was on fire a day ago
And
I decided to cool down

This is my relapse
At least i can still write about you.